This is why I am so thankful for the internet, email, that thing called YAHOO …
Look, I don’t mean to brag. Please don’t misunderstand. I just have some strong opinions. I was a strong-willed child that held all that strong will inside. And now, well, at 45 years of age – there’s a lot of that strongness that’s bound to come out at some point. It just, you know, can’t be contained forever. I’m actually not BIGHERO 6. Ok, ok. Sometimes the jeans get a little tight even though the scale registers the same.
And that strong will, it causes me some guilt sometimes. Oh, buddy – can it ever sneak up on you and create some moments of regret – YES IT CAN. YES, IT HAS.
And with all this info out there reminding us that FACEBOOK PHOTOS ARE FOREVER and that SNAPCHATs are NOT that quickly snapped off the grid and … you get my point. I hope you get it, because I’m here right after only one cup of coffee downed and I actually haven’t had breakfast and probably have not spent my time with Jesus yet and I’m smack out of alliterations and rhymes.
So I’m going to do it. Finally.
I’m going to tell you what I believe.
ABOUT MY BLOG, for goodness sakes. What did you think I was going to talk about?
I’m going to do it in the most self aggrandizing way that you’ve ever seen. It’s going to be like one of those email marketing letters that people take webinars to learn how to do. It’s going to take paragraph after paragraph to tout beingmissmelanie. And in betwixt that touting, it’s going to intersperse all sorts of opportunities to –
NOT SPEND A DIME.
That is correct, folks. This thing that I am offering is absolutely free.
Right now, right now, people, there is a website out there that is offering you over $2,000 worth of Children’s Ministry curriculum for just $97.
A SUBSCRIPTION TO FOLLOW beingmissmelanie IS FREE.
Right now, there is a particular conference going on that is tweeting and fb’ing and probably even instagramming. And, hey, I’m going to just admit it this morning. I am envious. I kind of wish that I was there. But, that would have cost a registration fee, hotel nights, and a few meals.
OK, OK, ALREADY. It would have cost a few extra wardrobing bucks because my husband says that I shouldn’t leave the house in yoga pants – you know, unless I am actually going to yoga class. Do you follow me on facebook? No? Then you don’t know about our low ceiling basement that it SO HELPFUL with balance when you are attempting WiiU Fit. Pshaw. Who am I kidding? I haven’t done yoga since we updated the console to WiiU.
HEY! FACEBOOK FRIENDING ME IS ALSO – FREE!
Let’s get back to that conference that I’m envious of. I happen to know for a fact. Yes, I said a fact. That at least two of those people at that conference, probably at least two with vendor tables, have recently gushed accolades onto beingmissmelanie.
Look, I get grammar. But those how-to webinars about how to make a lot of money writing fundraising emails tell you that you should write in an increasingly conversational tone. You’re drawing people in. Who cares about ending sentences with prepositions? You just care about the end result – donations. Who cares about run on sentences, dangling participles? You just want folks to run dangle their credit card info.
DID I MENTION THAT COMMENTING ON A beingmissmelanie POST IS ABSOLUTELY – YOU GOT IT – FREE!
And those people at the conference who gushed accolades were just two people, but that does mean that at least two truthfully quantifies them. And no, it was not actually on this site where they gushed accolades. It was in a personal email. And no, I do not share personal emails. For heaven’s sake. If I did that, then that data trail may go intercontinental and then who knows what US government agency may then be viewing beingmissmelanie‘s pictures.
Yeah, I watch LAST WEEK TONIGHT. (What do you think it would take to get John Oliver to tweet beingmissmelanie?)
By the way, do you know how much some people pay to access cable television?
ACCESS TO LESSON PLANS ON beingmissmelanie IS FREE.
beingmissmelanie has caused a rector, ahem, possibly a canon dean to cry at her resignation. She has received the ultimate compliment from a military chaplain’s wife, who described beinmissmelanie‘s teaching as “neither showy nor shallow.” (Hope she is not reading this right now.) beingmissmelanie even garnered the attention of some genteel Southern belle who had the following made for her
That is an engraved napkin. Do you know how much engraved celebration napkins cost? (beingmissmelanie hopes this dear lady is not reading at the moment.)
I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but marketing specialists charge big bucks to teach you to speak of yourself in the third person.
beingmissmelanie IS A BLOG THAT CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN FOR ZERO BUCKS.
beingmissmelanie has a long history. While in her first year of business with wordpress,
ok, almost two months – forgive me, I was Mary Kay trained in sales self promotion,
beingmissmelanie has been teaching children and communicating with parents for going on a decade.
This is where the gratitude comes in for YAHOO … (did you yodel it?)
beingmissmelanie has the archived emails to prove it.
Shoot, I guess I am going to share one after all. Mr. Snowden, help, please…
Do you love talking about the faith that you are discovering? Do you like children? Do you have time to show up once a week?
You can teach. It’s not that hard. It doesn’t require gimmicks. It doesn’t even require that much money.
That $2,000 worth of curriculum? It’s probably pretty good. For some people. For some traditions. But I think that you can do it almost all on your own. You know, with the help of
She’s free. Follow her. Comment. Ask questions.
Sharing is caring.
Sometimes she will think she’s come up with a pretty neat new system to organize a bible lesson. But she’s working on this little premise – read the text and like a kid – throw in a bit of fun. It ain’t that big of a deal. It’s Deuteronomy 6 still in action.
YAHOO told me that the following went out about 7 years ago to a small set of Sunday School parents in Columbia, SC.
Yep, there wasn’t a timehop app back then.
And I’m thinking that it’d work just as well this coming Sunday.
April 6, 2008
We did these activities today (elementary and preschool classes met together.)
1) Glued cotton balls on sheep drawing.
2) Marched to circle and sang “Peter, James and John in a Sailboat,” remembering that many of Jesus’ disciples were first fishermen.
3) Listened as Mr. Mike read the story “Breakfast with Jesus.”
4) Answered questions
What did Jesus’ disciples do this night? (went fishing)
How many fish did the disciples catch? (none at first)
Who helped the disciples catch many fish? (Jesus)
Who gave Peter a special job to do? (Jesus)
5) Our bible verse to memorize (for elementary class) is
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” John 21:16
6) We talked about how Jesus asked Peter if he loved him and we said a prayer. Mrs. Melanie asked each child by name, “Do you love God?” and each child answered to God – “Yes, God, I love you.”
7) We played a silly game of “My Little Boat turned Over” while waiting for the Catechism Class to join us for music.
8) We sang “Nothing but the Blood,” our hymn for April. (We will sing this for 3 weeks and then move on to our May hymn one week early. We will not sing in church in April, but will sing “There is a Redeemer” in church on Mother’s Day.)
Parents, you may find the bible story for today in John 21:1-17. We also emphasized that Jesus gave Peter a special job of “feeding his sheep.” We talked about how we are God’s sheep and He is the Good Shepherd. Children who come to children’s church time will hear about this “shepherding” concept again next week during that time. We also said that our preachers are like shepherds for us and that we are “fed” by hearing bible stories, praying, singing about God, and taking communion. As always, the story is rich with meaning and we could only touch on it. May you be blessed considering it this week!